Arlington National Cemetary

I drove to Arlington National Cemetery to go to a burial of a wonderful person. It was for Frank, my good friend Tami’s step-father. He was a retired lieutenant colonel and also a great supporter of our troops when we were at Fort Irwin, California.

He died a horrible death of pancreatic cancer at age 66. As sad as this was, it was fortunate for him that Tami’s mom was his wife, Sally, an educated nurse and was with him through all of his illness. She was his advocate at the hospital and his caregiver at home. They were a couple who loved each other and lived “to death do us part”.

Frank succumbed on Christmas Day. Beholding to his wishes, Sally arranged the burial at Arlington National Cemetery. Burial there is not quick as there are so many people in the queue that were in front of Frank. Sally was told that the burial would be on February 24th.

I heard about the burial from a few mutual friends that were flying in to be there for Tami and her family. I am less than four hours drive so could not say no. I knew I had to be there.

I drove in and parked and went to the center where we meet up and ran into Angela, our good friend, and former NFL cheerleader, who had met her husband on a USO tour (he’s a doctor and they met when another of the cheerleaders had collapsed while on the tour—that’s another terrific story). Also in attendance was our head dentist at Fort Irwin, now going to work for the Surgeon General in DC. Then there was me and also Jane and Dave, our head chaplain from Fort Irwin. All of us old friends just wanted to hug and touch each other. There is something very special about the bond among old friends.

I rode to the “gathering area” with Frank and Sally’s friends, Cliff and Pat, who we had gotten to know at Fort Irwin. They had come to the 11ACR Welcome Home ceremony, which Frank had contributed a good sum of money to make more successful.

Cliff and Pat told me about Frank’s last months and how strong Sally had been. They told me that after Frank had died and in the weeks where they were waiting to ship his body to Arlington, that Frank had a birthday. The coffin was still at the funeral home because Arlington can only accept the coffins two weeks out. Sally asked the funeral home if she could spend time with Frank (in his coffin) and they agreed. She brought a cupcake and spent hours at the side of the coffin. Upon hearing this, I began to cry. Imagine love this incredible.

The ceremony at Arlington is emotional. First, an Army band plays tributes. Then the coffin is put onto a horse drawn caisson. The soldiers loading the coffin are so strong and solemn. They make our country proud. Then the loved ones walk behind the caisson to the grave.

At the grave, words are said and the bugler plays taps. There is a 21 gun salute. The flag from the coffin is presented to Sally. She clutches it to her chest. The ceremony is over and we are dismissed. But no one moves. We all wait for Sally to lead. She can’t. She does not want to leave her husband. The coordinator tells us to each put a rose on the coffin as we leave. We all do this, but none of us leave, as Sally won’t. Finally, the coordinator tells us to go back to the reception area.

It’s over, the twelfth burial of the day at Arlington.